My sisters and I are very different from each other. In fact, we were called "the Easter eggs" growing up because one of us had blond hair, another black, and the youngest was a red head. When we registered to vote, our differences showed as well. Just as we had hair and eye color of varying hues, we affiliated ourselves as a Democrat, a Republican, and an Independent. But we weren't "party line" people like my Granddaddy Hilton who always checked the box recording the fact he just wanted all candidates in his party to get his vote. My sisters and I vote our conscience, regardless of what is on our voter cards.
I attribute our belief to a story I heard about our mother. In her family's corner of Southwestern Virginia, Granddaddy Reasor was an odd duck, a Republican. When my mother went to register to vote, a man was standing outside the building with a shotgun. Knowing her for the "daddy's girl" she was, he pointed his weapon at her and said, "We don't need any Republicans, Miz Reasor. You're not coming in here." Now my mother had a choice. She could have turned tail and run home. She could have complained to the sheriff. Instead, she stared the man down, pushed the gun out of the way, and walked inside to register. The point was not that she was going to register as a Republican. She was going to register to vote, period, and no one could stop her from doing so.
I have thought of that story many times the past few weeks as I struggle with the burden of being a registered voter. This political season, I am not happy with any of the candidates. I am fearful of some and disgusted with others. The ugliness of political commercials and rallies of both sides has turned me off. Over and over again, I have asked myself why I continue to vote instead of turning into one of the majority of apathetic Americans who decline the privilege.
Ultimately, I have decided my feelings about the political parties, ads, insults, prejudices, and lack of concern for all Americans, have combined to become my "shotgun moment." My feelings are staring me in the face, threatening my right to add my opinion of how the country should be led. Am I really going to let others determine whether I vote or not? No. It is not going to be easy this election but I will think of my mother, push the shotgun out of the way, and vote my conscience.
What keeps you from voting? How can you reframe your feelings and exercise your privilege to vote?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
"The Time For Holding Back Is Over"
My friend Mary Jo is starting her own movement on Facebook. It all began when she posted the news about another friend, Lisa, looking forward to boxing in her first match. Oh, she's been training a while but this is a real fight with an audience in the big city of Atlanta. In her blog "The Glowing Edge," Lisa describes preparing for the event and her trainer's challenge to her, "the time for holding back is over." Mary Jo saw the gift in these words. She then challenged ME as well as her other friends to try to live by this motto for the next six months. I believe I am up to it.
When I was younger, I never cried at emotional scenes in movies. I didn't wail over shots or when I was bullied for being an overweight middle-schooler. Later, as an adult, I kept secrets I shouldn't have. When challenged or berated, I held my tongue as any nice southern lady would. Even my talents were hidden under a bushel as I made myself smaller than those around me. Being noticed is difficult. So I inhaled and never exhaled. It doesn't matter how I got to that point. The point is I found myself stuck in this mode several times in my life. I held my breath, held my head down, held in, held at arm's length, barely held together, and, most of all, held back.
Blessedly, those seasons of holding back were relieved by times when I could not hold back any more. For example, I was never a advocate for myself with medical personnel. Until my daughter was born one Easter Sunday. In labor, I arrived at the hospital only 45 minutes before my baby was ready to enter the world. Have I mentioned there was no time for drug intervention? This was in the days before the all-in-one birthing rooms so they started moving my bed to delivery. Except the bed got stuck in the door. My upper body was in the labor room. My lower body, with crowning baby, was in the hall with people walking by. I won't tell you how many of those 45 minutes were spent trying to get my gurney unstuck. I won't describe the looks on the faces of the passers-by. But I will tell you when I got to delivery and finally got to push, I screamed. May I mention, once again, no drugs were used in the birthing of this baby? The nurse told me to be quiet. I told her it hurt like heck and I would scream if I wanted to scream. Except I didn't use "heck." I didn't hold back and I felt better for it.
These waves of holding back and letting go have ebbed and flowed in my life. Now, over two decades later, I have been reminded holding back is a painful pattern we, especially women, fall into on a daily basis. It affects our emotional and physical health, our careers, and our relationships. So I am taking up the No Holding Back challenge for the sake of bettering my life. I will dream dreams and do something about them. I will shine a light as I am able and not worry about overshadowing someone else. As far as holding my breath goes, I am taking yoga. Whew!
How have you been holding back? What are you holding your breath over? Are you prepared to take the No Holding Back challenge? Give it a shot.
When I was younger, I never cried at emotional scenes in movies. I didn't wail over shots or when I was bullied for being an overweight middle-schooler. Later, as an adult, I kept secrets I shouldn't have. When challenged or berated, I held my tongue as any nice southern lady would. Even my talents were hidden under a bushel as I made myself smaller than those around me. Being noticed is difficult. So I inhaled and never exhaled. It doesn't matter how I got to that point. The point is I found myself stuck in this mode several times in my life. I held my breath, held my head down, held in, held at arm's length, barely held together, and, most of all, held back.
Blessedly, those seasons of holding back were relieved by times when I could not hold back any more. For example, I was never a advocate for myself with medical personnel. Until my daughter was born one Easter Sunday. In labor, I arrived at the hospital only 45 minutes before my baby was ready to enter the world. Have I mentioned there was no time for drug intervention? This was in the days before the all-in-one birthing rooms so they started moving my bed to delivery. Except the bed got stuck in the door. My upper body was in the labor room. My lower body, with crowning baby, was in the hall with people walking by. I won't tell you how many of those 45 minutes were spent trying to get my gurney unstuck. I won't describe the looks on the faces of the passers-by. But I will tell you when I got to delivery and finally got to push, I screamed. May I mention, once again, no drugs were used in the birthing of this baby? The nurse told me to be quiet. I told her it hurt like heck and I would scream if I wanted to scream. Except I didn't use "heck." I didn't hold back and I felt better for it.
These waves of holding back and letting go have ebbed and flowed in my life. Now, over two decades later, I have been reminded holding back is a painful pattern we, especially women, fall into on a daily basis. It affects our emotional and physical health, our careers, and our relationships. So I am taking up the No Holding Back challenge for the sake of bettering my life. I will dream dreams and do something about them. I will shine a light as I am able and not worry about overshadowing someone else. As far as holding my breath goes, I am taking yoga. Whew!
How have you been holding back? What are you holding your breath over? Are you prepared to take the No Holding Back challenge? Give it a shot.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The NY Times Hope and Romance Column
I like traditions. I seem to have them for every day of the week. On Saturdays, I read the Weddings and Celebrations page of the New York Times via their website. Every weekend, a different couple's wedding is featured. They may have known each other for a decade or more. They may have dated a year. The bride and groom may be in their twenties or in their seventies. Their families may be well-known or middle class immigrants. But there are commonalities in all the stories.
These stories speak of love sometimes lost and found. But love is always found in the end. Each feature includes mentions of fateful events, the input of family and friends, obstacles to love, dark moments, and the event that makes these couples realize they are in love. It took me a while but I figured out why I love reading these stories. They are miniature romance novels with Happily Ever Afters always included.
The Weddings and Celebrations column is a smart bit of marketing in a newspaper filled with bad news. As a voracious news reader, I find myself latching on to hopeful media stories these days. I seek good news in a sea of sad business. It is not as hard as one might think. Life has a way of still happening. Couples fall in love. Babies are born. People are kind to each other. Those who are downtrodden triumph over obstacles. Each event is an positive sign people still believe in a happy future in spite of dark days. While I have plenty of scriptural reminders of hope, it is nice to be reminded people all over the world live lives filled with this confidence. For my Saturday helping, HEAs do quite nicely.
What are reminders of hope in your life? Is it a favorite scripture or passage from a book? Do you scan the web for happy tales? Do you look at your children or those around you and feel hopeful? When you are down, look for signs of hope. They are there.
These stories speak of love sometimes lost and found. But love is always found in the end. Each feature includes mentions of fateful events, the input of family and friends, obstacles to love, dark moments, and the event that makes these couples realize they are in love. It took me a while but I figured out why I love reading these stories. They are miniature romance novels with Happily Ever Afters always included.
The Weddings and Celebrations column is a smart bit of marketing in a newspaper filled with bad news. As a voracious news reader, I find myself latching on to hopeful media stories these days. I seek good news in a sea of sad business. It is not as hard as one might think. Life has a way of still happening. Couples fall in love. Babies are born. People are kind to each other. Those who are downtrodden triumph over obstacles. Each event is an positive sign people still believe in a happy future in spite of dark days. While I have plenty of scriptural reminders of hope, it is nice to be reminded people all over the world live lives filled with this confidence. For my Saturday helping, HEAs do quite nicely.
What are reminders of hope in your life? Is it a favorite scripture or passage from a book? Do you scan the web for happy tales? Do you look at your children or those around you and feel hopeful? When you are down, look for signs of hope. They are there.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Book Karma
I crave books. Even more than books, I crave winning books. But more than sticking to a low book-buying budget, my motivation is the thrill of trying new authors, insights or genres. I troll websites, hang out at Goodreads.com, make comments on Facebook, and volunteer to review new releases. It is more fun than buying a lottery ticket with a greater likelihood of success.
I find myself winning books in clumps. This past weekend, I won four from Friday through Sunday. It's never just one. When that anonymous person said, "good things come in threes," they weren't kidding. I have named this phenomenon "book karma."
But "book karma" is a funny thing. A while back, I signed up for a giveaway of A Secret Kept by Tatiana de Rosnay. I am not sure what interested me in this book except she had written Sarah's Key which got great reviews. But then I read the synopsis. It involves dark family secrets and other things that make me tense. Now, why I was shocked about the plot I don't know. The title of the book includes the word "secret." My heart sank. The book contest ended the day ten other giveaways did. I remember thinking, "I 'll probably win the book I least want to read." Well, you guessed it, I won A Secret Kept.
Now, I could say "rotten luck" but I choose not to do so. I prefer to think of those times when "book karma" has gifted me in ways I celebrated outright. I will celebrate this dark book as well. After all, I just revisited Nicholas Sparks even though Safe Haven is supposedly a bit darker than his other books. I haven't read his novels in a while because they make me cry. But he didn't break my heart this time! Maybe I am supposed to read A Secret Kept as a way to continue getting over my fear of darker fiction. I feel a trend starting. That's the way my "book karma" works.
I don't consider myself luckier than others when it comes to winning books. After all, I work hard at it! But why do things happen the way they do? I am not sure. However, I tend to look for messages in my daily life, my Bible, and my meditations to guide me along. God has a way of using our lives and livelihoods to reach us. I read voraciously. Is it any surprise I have received books I needed to read at just the right moment, even if it was just for the pleasure of being distracted from the tough times in my life? For others, it may be seeing rainbows at the right time or having a stranger say the right thing out of the blue. "Book karma" for me may be "rainbow karma" or "stranger wisdom" for others. Whatever it is, God has a way of communicating with us, knowing what we need even when we do not. So I look forward to A Secret Kept and the lessons I will learn.
Have you noticed things happening in "clumps"? What messages might you be getting? Start paying attention to those Godincidences.
Peace, Julie
I find myself winning books in clumps. This past weekend, I won four from Friday through Sunday. It's never just one. When that anonymous person said, "good things come in threes," they weren't kidding. I have named this phenomenon "book karma."
But "book karma" is a funny thing. A while back, I signed up for a giveaway of A Secret Kept by Tatiana de Rosnay. I am not sure what interested me in this book except she had written Sarah's Key which got great reviews. But then I read the synopsis. It involves dark family secrets and other things that make me tense. Now, why I was shocked about the plot I don't know. The title of the book includes the word "secret." My heart sank. The book contest ended the day ten other giveaways did. I remember thinking, "I 'll probably win the book I least want to read." Well, you guessed it, I won A Secret Kept.
Now, I could say "rotten luck" but I choose not to do so. I prefer to think of those times when "book karma" has gifted me in ways I celebrated outright. I will celebrate this dark book as well. After all, I just revisited Nicholas Sparks even though Safe Haven is supposedly a bit darker than his other books. I haven't read his novels in a while because they make me cry. But he didn't break my heart this time! Maybe I am supposed to read A Secret Kept as a way to continue getting over my fear of darker fiction. I feel a trend starting. That's the way my "book karma" works.
I don't consider myself luckier than others when it comes to winning books. After all, I work hard at it! But why do things happen the way they do? I am not sure. However, I tend to look for messages in my daily life, my Bible, and my meditations to guide me along. God has a way of using our lives and livelihoods to reach us. I read voraciously. Is it any surprise I have received books I needed to read at just the right moment, even if it was just for the pleasure of being distracted from the tough times in my life? For others, it may be seeing rainbows at the right time or having a stranger say the right thing out of the blue. "Book karma" for me may be "rainbow karma" or "stranger wisdom" for others. Whatever it is, God has a way of communicating with us, knowing what we need even when we do not. So I look forward to A Secret Kept and the lessons I will learn.
Have you noticed things happening in "clumps"? What messages might you be getting? Start paying attention to those Godincidences.
Peace, Julie
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Used Bookstore Headache
When it comes to genetics, my husband passed along bad teeth and freckles to our children. I generously gave my daughter a genetic B-12 deficiency and a dislike of stress. So when my daughter told me she preferred to buy her books rather than use a library, I knew exactly how she felt. I have the same problem, especially when I am on the library's most popular book list and don't know when I will get it. The stress of getting that new bestseller finished in a week can suck the enjoyment out of any book, not to mention needing to be in the mood to read whatever the library throws at you. Fiction when you are hankering for a biography or non-fiction self-help guide just doesn't do it. So, this past week, I became her book finder. I went out in search of the books on her list, visiting more than one bookstore on a quest to find as many as I could. Unfortunately, her budget required I peruse used bookstores for the most part.
As much as I understand my daughter's point of view, I am still conflicted about the whole UBS business. When I started reading romance and decided to read a number of golden oldies no longer in print, I had to purchase books through half.com and a few UBS in town. The library didn't have them and they could not be found otherwise. But I also like the feeling of supporting the authors I love when I purchase their books, even with deep discounts or 33% off coupons. I may not like paying full price for a trade paperback at $14.99 but I understand the necessity of the price point for authors and the industry.
In spite of my author loyalty, when I venture into a UBS, I also notice the unemployed middle aged woman searching for health guides or the young stay at home mom looking for children's books, the senior citizen looking for pleasure reading or the teens looking for DVDs. The economy has made the local UBS the bookstore of choice or necessity for many who want the feeling of browsing in a bookstore but are unable to pay $24 for a hardback even with discount. My own daughter occasionally buy new books but her salary makes her frugal. What about that side of the coin? Therefore, my headache.
There are many ethical issues right now floating about in the media. Like the UBS debate, they don't have clear cut answers or people think they should. It isn't just gray in a black and white world. It is muddy out there. I pray about these things but often in equal measure with arguing with myself or making excuses for whatever I decide. I need to listen to God's guidance more on these issues, seeking answers that are in line with my faith. I also need to recognize those answers often don't come in a day or even over a lifetime. Maybe then I will have fewer headaches.
What issues are you conflicted about? Have you prayed about these issues and what would you discover if you did?
Peace, Julie
As much as I understand my daughter's point of view, I am still conflicted about the whole UBS business. When I started reading romance and decided to read a number of golden oldies no longer in print, I had to purchase books through half.com and a few UBS in town. The library didn't have them and they could not be found otherwise. But I also like the feeling of supporting the authors I love when I purchase their books, even with deep discounts or 33% off coupons. I may not like paying full price for a trade paperback at $14.99 but I understand the necessity of the price point for authors and the industry.
In spite of my author loyalty, when I venture into a UBS, I also notice the unemployed middle aged woman searching for health guides or the young stay at home mom looking for children's books, the senior citizen looking for pleasure reading or the teens looking for DVDs. The economy has made the local UBS the bookstore of choice or necessity for many who want the feeling of browsing in a bookstore but are unable to pay $24 for a hardback even with discount. My own daughter occasionally buy new books but her salary makes her frugal. What about that side of the coin? Therefore, my headache.
There are many ethical issues right now floating about in the media. Like the UBS debate, they don't have clear cut answers or people think they should. It isn't just gray in a black and white world. It is muddy out there. I pray about these things but often in equal measure with arguing with myself or making excuses for whatever I decide. I need to listen to God's guidance more on these issues, seeking answers that are in line with my faith. I also need to recognize those answers often don't come in a day or even over a lifetime. Maybe then I will have fewer headaches.
“I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me." John 5:30
What issues are you conflicted about? Have you prayed about these issues and what would you discover if you did?
Peace, Julie
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